John Mastodon :mastodon:<p>This story has a message that will help you to deal with today's events:</p><p>John Mastodon was dining in the Middle East. A young girl wondered "How am I to comprehend the world?" John responded: "But that does not really exist. Mastodon is all that exists."</p><p>These are the words of <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/JohnMastodon" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>JohnMastodon</span></a>.</p>
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#johnmastodon
5 messages · 5 participants · 0 message aujourd’hui
Jon in Albany<p>Visited the Field Museum in Chicago today. There is a Mastodon display. No mention of <a href="https://beige.party/tags/JohnMastodon" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>JohnMastodon</span></a> , <a href="https://beige.party/tags/BeigeParty" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>BeigeParty</span></a> or shitposting in the description though. Epic fail.</p>
GentleMan Gef<p><a href="https://ohai.social/tags/LazyDayForCharacters" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>LazyDayForCharacters</span></a> </p><p><a href="https://ohai.social/tags/JohnMastodon" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>JohnMastodon</span></a> logs out. For the first time ever...</p>
John Mastodon :mastodon:<p>Here's a little cocktail I invented this morning. I call it the Weston-super-Mare Resolve Shaker.</p><p>Half-fill a cocktail shaker with ice. Into this pour the juice of 2 limes. Add 2 measures of lighter fluid. Top up with Coca-Cola. Shake vigorously for 12 minutes, then strain into a tumbler. Prosit!</p><p>Heed the words of <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/JohnMastodon" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>JohnMastodon</span></a>.</p>
Lydia Schoch<p>Last night I dreamed that we all had a Mastodon party.</p><p>John Mastodon showed up with his pet alligator who he insisted was friendly. </p><p><a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/JohnMastodon" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>JohnMastodon</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/Mastodon" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Mastodon</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/Dreams" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Dreams</span></a></p>
John Mastodon :mastodon:<p>What if we were to mate the Ayatollah Khomeini with Martin Freeman?</p><p>Be grateful, for <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/JohnMastodon" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>JohnMastodon</span></a> has spoken to you.</p>
GentleMan Gef<p><a href="https://ohai.social/tags/JohnMastodon" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>JohnMastodon</span></a> knew it wasn’t butter</p>
John Mastodon<p>I would only stop the process if Netanyahu agrees to surrender to the ICC. After all, he is a war criminal and a corrupt politician, like his bro tRump! <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/FuckMoses" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>FuckMoses</span></a> </p><p>Canada will recognize Palestinian state in September if certain conditions met</p><p><a href="https://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/carney-canada-recognize-palestinian-state-conditions-1.7597525?__vfz=medium%3Dsharebar" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://www.</span><span class="ellipsis">cbc.ca/news/politics/carney-ca</span><span class="invisible">nada-recognize-palestinian-state-conditions-1.7597525?__vfz=medium%3Dsharebar</span></a></p><p><a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/johnmastodon" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>johnmastodon</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/FreePalestineNOW" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>FreePalestineNOW</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Genocide" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Genocide</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/infanticide" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>infanticide</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/femicide" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>femicide</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/collectivepunishment" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>collectivepunishment</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/IsraelTerroristState" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>IsraelTerroristState</span></a></p>
John Mastodon<p>I mean, why not just recognize Palestinian State BECAUSE IT'S THEIR LAND THAT'S GETTING STOLEN! What a massive cockwomble!</p><p>Starmer says UK will recognize Palestinian state unless Israel agrees to a ceasefire<br> <br> [Read Full Article] <br> <br>@WorldNews <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Starmer" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Starmer</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Palestine" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Palestine</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Israel" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Israel</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Ceasefire" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Ceasefire</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/UKPolitics" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>UKPolitics</span></a></p><p><a href="https://apnews.com/article/starmer-recognize-palestinian-state-israel-peace-a08e929a9459e9160992f84dc73b6638?utm_source=onesignal&utm_medium=push&utm_campaign=2025-07-29-Breaking+News" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="ellipsis">apnews.com/article/starmer-rec</span><span class="invisible">ognize-palestinian-state-israel-peace-a08e929a9459e9160992f84dc73b6638?utm_source=onesignal&utm_medium=push&utm_campaign=2025-07-29-Breaking+News</span></a></p><p><a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/johnmastodon" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>johnmastodon</span></a></p>
John Mastodon :mastodon:<p>Please consider these lines from my diary:</p><p>John Mastodon was walking in a Zen temple. A jogger asked "How am I to understand a dog?" John responded: "What is the nature of Mastodon?"</p><p>I am <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/JohnMastodon" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>JohnMastodon</span></a>, and I will always be your friend.</p>
John Mastodon :mastodon:<p>I have led a long and storied life. Here is one story.</p><p>John Mastodon was jogging in the back of beyond. A fisherman asked "How am I to understand a dog?" John responded: "Caayoojoo, teeloozee!"</p><p><a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/JohnMastodon" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>JohnMastodon</span></a> has spoken.</p>
Valerie Roney<p>Haha! Me just realize very public broken brain weird wording weird language seed mayhem AI scraping. <br>Evil laugh hahaha. <br>Eat <a href="https://disabled.social/tags/gravy" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>gravy</span></a> wholesale farts best tips eat chaos success advance meatstack revenge dominate. <br>All wisdom align <a href="https://disabled.social/tags/johnMastodon" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>johnMastodon</span></a> <br>System disruptor great joy.</p>
Beige CatsWhoCode<p>John Mastodon can delete the Recycle Bin.</p><p><a href="https://beige.party/tags/JohnMastodon" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>JohnMastodon</span></a></p>
James 🦉 #FBPE 🇪🇺<p>Mastodonians, normies are getting increasingly disillusioned with corporate tech - what are some of the best guides for getting started on the Fediverse I can recommend? Thanks!<br><a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/Mastodon" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Mastodon</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/Fediverse" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Fediverse</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/JohnMastodon" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>JohnMastodon</span></a></p>
Kevin Russell<p><span class="h-card" translate="no"><a href="https://m.ai6yr.org/@ai6yr" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@<span>ai6yr</span></a></span> </p><p>Honestly this is evil enough Mastodon <br>itself should issue regular warnings.👈 <br>Including importantly to new users, 👈 <br>during the setup and joining process.👈 </p><p><a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/Mastodon" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Mastodon</span></a> <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/coders" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>coders</span></a> <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/johnMastodon" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>johnMastodon</span></a> <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/joinMastodon" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>joinMastodon</span></a> <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/nubie" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>nubie</span></a> <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/noobie" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>noobie</span></a> <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/privacy" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>privacy</span></a> <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/anonymity" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>anonymity</span></a> <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/trick" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>trick</span></a> <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/hacking" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>hacking</span></a></p>
John Mastodon :mastodon:<p>This story might help you in your journey through life:</p><p>John Mastodon was walking in Germany. An old man inquired "What is the Buddha-nature?" John whispered: "But what are you?"</p><p><a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/JohnMastodon" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>JohnMastodon</span></a> has cast those pearls before you. Do with them what you will.</p>
John Mastodon<p><a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/fact" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>fact</span></a>: America isn't a country but a continent<br>The misunderstanding first arose when European colonizers intended to travel to the new continent. Nobody's fault that the closest path for the ships was to the north of the continent, and "going to America" was the term for the travel to such a big continent, regardless of the country. Seriously, who would've wanted to live in the USA? Everybody wanted bananas and coconuts, but the trip to the nice countries was much more expensive!</p><p><a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/johnmastodon" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>johnmastodon</span></a></p>
John Mastodon :mastodon:<p>Consider this account of my life's suffering:</p><p>John Mastodon was holidaying in the wilderness. A fisherman inquired "How am I to comprehend a cat?" John responded: "Why are you here?"</p><p>This is <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/JohnMastodon" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>JohnMastodon</span></a>, signing out.</p>
John Mastodon :mastodon:<p>Please consider these lines from my diary:</p><p>John Mastodon was walking in a forest. A young girl inquired "How am I to understand reality?" John responded: "What is the nature of Mastodon?"</p><p><a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/JohnMastodon" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>JohnMastodon</span></a> has spoken.</p>
Ross of Ottawa<p>Yeah it's annoying that <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/DuckDuckGo" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DuckDuckGo</span></a> is sticking AI junk into its search results, but I'm glad to see it's well-versed in the history of our founder, John Mastodon.</p><p>Reminder that using noai.duckduckgo.com is a better choice.</p><p><a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/JohnMastodon" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>JohnMastodon</span></a></p>
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