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#Routine

1 message1 participant0 message aujourd’hui

What to do now?

Ever since that week that came straight out of hell (Journal – Week 27, June/July 2025), I’ve been struggling. I’ve shared some posts during the last few weeks, describing the struggles and emotions of getting through all the trauma, pain, and grief. And one thing is true for all of it: they will need patience, time, and support.

The world as I had known it for so long just changed so much. I was already unstable after the surgery and all, and I was in no way prepared to deal with having to say goodbye to Arwen. And this may sound selfish, but at the moment where I needed her most to help me cope with the anxiety, shock, and pain… Arwen needed me most to do right by her. I wasn’t selfish then, and I kept my promise to her, to never let her suffer. But a part of me was just so devastated, because I felt angry, just for a very short while, that she couldn’t keep going a bit longer for me… That thought came and went like a bolt of lightning strikes, but I’ve been feeling guilty ever since I had it. 😢 And now? Now I need to find a way to pick my life up again, to get back on track.

[…]

cynnisblog.wordpress.com/2025/

#energy#grief#life

Ce qu’on ne pourra plus montrer, parce que c’est du «discours de haine»–«Depuis près de 630 jours, le monde entier assiste au #genocide des Palestiniens de #Gaza par les bombardements et la famine»–Eva Bartlett

#Israël💩 a bombardé sans relâche les Palestiniens, détruit des hôpitaux et enlevé des médecins et des patients, témoigne la journaliste pour RT.

L’Etat juif a bombardé des églises, des écoles, des centres des Nations Unies et des tentes abritant des Palestiniens déplacés dans de prétendues «zones de sécurité», des nasses, où l'armée israélienne leur avait ordonné de fuir.

#Poutine–A Gaza, «on voit des enfants opérés sans anesthésie, Gaza est le plus grand cimetière d'enfants au monde» (2023)

«Depuis fin mai, nous voyons des vidéos horribles de Palestiniens squelettiques faisant la queue dans l'espoir de recevoir de l'aide alimentaire, puis abattus par des mercenaires américains et des soldats israéliens.»

#Routine–Massacre à Gaza: #Tsahal💩 ouvre le feu sur une foule affamée, 104 morts.

On and on and on… ♾️

This is definitely not the first time I write a blog post with a topic title like this. And yeah, maybe that is a part of the "infinity" in it all. But, with all the recent and not so recent events happening, my brain is doing that "overthinking" thing again. And often, one of the things that helps me with that, is when I whip out my phone, or my tablet with the BT keyboard, or even my new PC these days... I need to write about it... I don't know if you have been following my blog and all the stuff I've been sharing. Or if you just "stumbled" upon it because of... Well , many reasons can be put here... So I will leave that open, and I just want to say "Welcome 🌸 " and thank you for checking out my babbling corner of the interwebs. I will try not to repeat too much of what I've been sharing recently, and when I do, I will try to link the original blog post to it, for those that may be interested. 😇 […]

cynnisblog.wordpress.com/2025/

Busy, too busy… 😮‍💨

Ever since my awful birthday, things have been going in many directions. That Sunday was crazy! Of course, I'd been very busy on Saturday, to try and get everything nice for when my parents would visit. So after the terrible Sunday, my days would be filled with all sorts of appointments. And, while I didn't mind to help my parents, it meant less sleep, less "me time", less relaxing... The sleep I had was disturbed, especially in the beginning of the week. Usually, I'd try to relax during the day then. But with all the appointments, there just wasn't any time... And now, as I write this, I should have my first "free day" since that weekend. So, of course, I have some chores planned already. But, I also hope to get some gaming in with a sweet friend. […]

cynnisblog.wordpress.com/2025/

I can do it!

It just takes more time... ...and I sometimes need help... ...but that's OK! I've blogged before about feeling like I'm stuck with this adulting thing. That it sometimes just doesn't feel worth it. Or, I do it, and a short time later, it just looks like I've not done it at all... 😔 And I know it's not just me struggling with these things. But, especially when it comes to cleaning, it's harder. And since I've been living in a construction area, and they're still not done... There's just so much more sand and dust! 🫣 And, that just makes it harder, and the work feels less rewarding... […]

cynnisblog.wordpress.com/2025/

Daily rituals include coming up to this viewpoint first thing in the morning and last thing at night with a lunchtime visit very often too.

Having a dog who needs plenty of walks is our excuse but we are always keen to see what show is being presented. This sunset is yet another variation. Is you look down my timeline you will see many more…

#daily#hills#sunset

Just keep going…

...but why does it feel so hard some days? Life is a journey. You only know that, one day, in one way or another, the journey will reach the final destination, and it will all be over. To those with certain believes, the one journey will be ending, while a new journey may be starting again, some way, some how. And, that can be a beautiful thought. But, when things are hard, it can be scary too. Because, when I am facing the harder days, I dread them loads, and when the dark monster has a really strong grip on me, the hardest days make me fear to continue the journey. But well, I will keep going. I have tried to give up in the past. I took an OD of sleeping pills when I was at the lowest point of my life. It took me over a year to gather the bits and bops and to start enjoying life again. And I think I did rather well. I have a small group of friends, but they do mean the world to me. And I have some very sweet online friends. I'll probably never be able to meet them, but that doesn't mean that I don't care about them. I have Arwen, and my parents. I have a new place that still needs a lot of work, so I hope to work on that, bit by bit... So, reasons enough to not give up! But some days... […]

cynnisblog.wordpress.com/2025/

Was it worth it? 🏡

A journey with big changes lays behind me. I've reached my destination, which I hope will be my last one. Or at least one for a long time to come... The journey isn't over yet, but part of the traveling is. Now, I'm in place and I need to make things better as I stay a while... Of course I'm talking about the move that happened last year. In December 2023, I got about 22 hours to decide if I wanted to accept a (rental) house, that I never thought to have a chance with. On July 1st I got the keys. The weekend of 13/14 July, sweet friends helped me a shitload! 😉 As they helped me move most of my things from Cuijk to Herpen. And... That's where I am now. But... Was it worth it? 🤔 […]

cynnisblog.wordpress.com/2025/

#changes#health#help

Ich hab um ein qualifiziertes Zwischenzeugnis gebeten. Nicht aus #Routine. Sondern weil ich endlich eine objektive Einschätzung meiner Leistung wollte – nach zwei Jahren, in denen ich allein die Arbeit von vier Leuten gemacht hab. Ich hab Prozesse optimiert, Fehler minimiert, Reklamationen fast auf null reduziert – und trotzdem hat mein Einsatz keinen sichtbaren Wert. Die Antwort auf meine Gehaltsanfrage? Keine Anerkennung. Nur Ausflüchte. Und ein Verweis auf das #Gehalt meines Mannes. #arbeit
⬇️

Les gens qui ont une #routine, vous êtes un mystère pour moi. Un mystère que j'envie, mais un mystère quand même.
Comment vous faites les jours sans énergie ? Et au contraire, les jours fastes ?
Et quand vous avez une tâche urgente qui attend ? Ou dix ?
...
Vraiment, plus le temps passe, moins j'ai l'impression d'avoir été #valide un jour 😞

A répondu dans un fil de discussion

@ian @DJ5CW Hopefully reasonably low rate production. In a past garage project, made multiple rounds of SMT component updates on circuit boards. Ended up with about 12,000 solder joints made (and only used 2 tips, one started with, and one replacement along the way). Seasoned at soldering under a microscope makes individual joints low stress. #routine