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Cynni's Blog<p><strong>Out from the&nbsp;darkness…</strong></p> <p>…the dark monster tries to get into action…</p> <p>…after lurking for a while… </p> <p>The dark monster is always out there. Lurking, keeping an eye out, and when my resistance is low, when the spoons have been spent, when I am all out of energy… It jumps out and tried to pound on me. Pin me down and feed me with all the darkest thoughts, so that I will stay defenseless and down. And, I feared that this would happen… I knew that my spoons would be low, my energy would be bad, I would be tired a lot and not get the best sleep. So now, I am struggling with feeling lonely and I feel like I am a nuisance that people want to stay far away from… They will be polite, but just because they are hoping that it will keep me at bay… Or well, that’s what my brain is trying to convince me of…</p> <p> […]</p> <p><a href="https://cynnisblog.wordpress.com/2025/07/11/out-from-the-darkness/" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="ellipsis">cynnisblog.wordpress.com/2025/</span><span class="invisible">07/11/out-from-the-darkness/</span></a></p>
Europe Says<p><a href="https://www.europesays.com/2210954/" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://www.</span><span class="">europesays.com/2210954/</span><span class="invisible"></span></a> Japan faces ‘30%-35%’ tariff as Trump doubts deal by deadline #'30%' <a href="https://pubeurope.com/tags/business" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>business</span></a> <a href="https://pubeurope.com/tags/deadline" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>deadline</span></a> <a href="https://pubeurope.com/tags/deal" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>deal</span></a> <a href="https://pubeurope.com/tags/doubts" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>doubts</span></a> <a href="https://pubeurope.com/tags/faces" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>faces</span></a> <a href="https://pubeurope.com/tags/japan" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>japan</span></a> <a href="https://pubeurope.com/tags/tariff" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>tariff</span></a> <a href="https://pubeurope.com/tags/tariffs" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>tariffs</span></a> <a href="https://pubeurope.com/tags/TradeWar" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>TradeWar</span></a> <a href="https://pubeurope.com/tags/trump" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>trump</span></a></p>
Europe Says<p><a href="https://www.europesays.com/2025631/" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://www.</span><span class="">europesays.com/2025631/</span><span class="invisible"></span></a> Taiwan keen on Alaska LNG plan as South Korea doubts costs <a href="https://pubeurope.com/tags/Alaska" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Alaska</span></a> <a href="https://pubeurope.com/tags/costs" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>costs</span></a> <a href="https://pubeurope.com/tags/doubts" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>doubts</span></a> <a href="https://pubeurope.com/tags/GasPrice" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>GasPrice</span></a> <a href="https://pubeurope.com/tags/keen" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>keen</span></a> <a href="https://pubeurope.com/tags/korea" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>korea</span></a> <a href="https://pubeurope.com/tags/LiquefiedNaturalGas" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>LiquefiedNaturalGas</span></a> <a href="https://pubeurope.com/tags/lng" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>lng</span></a> <a href="https://pubeurope.com/tags/LNGPrice" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>LNGPrice</span></a> <a href="https://pubeurope.com/tags/NaturalGas" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>NaturalGas</span></a> <a href="https://pubeurope.com/tags/Plan" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Plan</span></a> <a href="https://pubeurope.com/tags/south" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>south</span></a> <a href="https://pubeurope.com/tags/Taiwan" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Taiwan</span></a></p>
Cynni's Blog<p><strong>Doubts…</strong></p> ...so many doubts... ...and they don't seem to make any sense... For those that have been following my ramblings on this site for a while... You know that I have a surgery upcoming in a bit. Those folks will probably also know that I am eager to get it done with, but I am not eager for the surgery and recovery time, as those are always hard on me. I guess surgeries are never fun, and recovery is always a challenge and hard. But I was just hoping that I'd have several more years in between the last surgery and this one... But, I'm not that lucky... […] <p><a href="https://cynnisblog.wordpress.com/2025/04/23/doubts/" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="ellipsis">cynnisblog.wordpress.com/2025/</span><span class="invisible">04/23/doubts/</span></a></p>
Cynni's Blog<p><strong>Doubting myself</strong></p> I used to be sure of myself. I either knew something, I didn't know it and tried to learn about it, or I just wasn't interested and it could not interest me in the slightest way... I used to know stuff, be curious about stuff, want to learn stuff... Sometimes, I went overboard with the gathering of knowledge, as I spent way too much time (and sometimes money) on getting my hands on more info. I learned that it was/is part of my AuDHD, getting the hyperfocus, or a special interest, that would absorb me all the way. These days, I often doubt myself. I guess getting more brain fog symptoms when I got my fibro, and now being made worse at times by the peri-menopause... Also, having been in relationships where I was often told I was wrong, I misunderstood, I just was too stupid to understand... Those things combined, I guess they just added to the increased feelings of anxiety that I have been dealing with. I never had too many issues with it, until I tried to OD, until my life was gone as I knew it... And these days, I am struggling at times... […] <p><a href="https://cynnisblog.wordpress.com/2025/03/28/doubting-myself/" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="ellipsis">cynnisblog.wordpress.com/2025/</span><span class="invisible">03/28/doubting-myself/</span></a></p>
Cynni's Blog<p><strong>Don’t doubt, just do it…&nbsp;💪🏼</strong></p> Hehe, yeah, sure! I'll get to that in a wink! I problem at all... Well, indeed, that used to be me, but, as I recently shared here, that's not really me anymore. Of course, some things need preparation. Some need money. Some need help. Some need a certain kind of weather. Some just need you to have the energy and motivation to do them... Which can be quite a challenge when you're chronically ill... But, I've been trying to get more things done when I can now, also because I know that lTet this year, I'll have several weeks where I'm not able/allowed to do things, due to me needing that hip surgery... […] <p><a href="https://cynnisblog.wordpress.com/2025/03/26/dont-doubt-just-do-it-%f0%9f%92%aa%f0%9f%8f%bc/" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="ellipsis">cynnisblog.wordpress.com/2025/</span><span class="invisible">03/26/dont-doubt-just-do-it-%f0%9f%92%aa%f0%9f%8f%bc/</span></a></p>
Susan Larson ♀️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🌈<p>Before <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Election" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Election</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Day" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Day</span></a>, <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Trump" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Trump</span></a> is increasingly <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/sowing" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>sowing</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/doubts" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>doubts</span></a> about the <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/results" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>results</span></a>. </p><p>Trump is already <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/accusing" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>accusing</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Democrats" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Democrats</span></a> of trying to <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/cheat" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>cheat</span></a> and <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/steal" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>steal</span></a> the <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/election" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>election</span></a> from him, laying the <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/groundwork" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>groundwork</span></a> to <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/question" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>question</span></a> the <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/results" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>results</span></a> if he <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/loses" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>loses</span></a>. </p><p><a href="https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/2024-election/trump-increasingly-sowing-doubts-election-results-rcna174285" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://www.</span><span class="ellipsis">nbcnews.com/politics/2024-elec</span><span class="invisible">tion/trump-increasingly-sowing-doubts-election-results-rcna174285</span></a></p>
Susan Larson ♀️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🌈<p><a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/DonaldTrump" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DonaldTrump</span></a>, back at an <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/outdoor" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>outdoor</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/rally" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>rally</span></a>, returns to familiar <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/habits" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>habits</span></a>. </p><p>After two days of <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/policy" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>policy</span></a>-focused <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/addresses" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>addresses</span></a> with modest crowds, former <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/President" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>President</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/DonaldTrump" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DonaldTrump</span></a> returned to form Wednesday with an outdoor <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/speech" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>speech</span></a> in <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/NorthCarolina" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>NorthCarolina</span></a>, where he insisted that he would not give up <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/personalattacks" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>personalattacks</span></a> on <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/VicePresident" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>VicePresident</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/KamalaHarris" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>KamalaHarris</span></a> and continued to sow <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/doubts" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>doubts</span></a> about the <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/integrity" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>integrity</span></a> of the <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/election" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>election</span></a> in November. </p><p><a href="https://www.seattletimes.com/nation-world/nation-politics/donald-trump-back-at-an-outdoor-rally-returns-to-familiar-habits/" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://www.</span><span class="ellipsis">seattletimes.com/nation-world/</span><span class="invisible">nation-politics/donald-trump-back-at-an-outdoor-rally-returns-to-familiar-habits/</span></a></p>
🌪 MikeMathia.com 📡<p><a href="https://ioc.exchange/tags/Doubts" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Doubts</span></a></p>
Susan Larson ♀️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🌈<p>During A <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Night" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Night</span></a> Of <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Hazing" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Hazing</span></a>, I Confessed A <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/DarkSecret" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DarkSecret</span></a> To My <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/PledgeBrothers" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>PledgeBrothers</span></a>. It Changed Everything.. </p><p>Although <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/fraternities" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>fraternities</span></a> are <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/notorious" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>notorious</span></a> for <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/homophobia" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>homophobia</span></a>, I met a <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/brother" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>brother</span></a> during <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/rushweek" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>rushweek</span></a> who alleviated the <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/doubts" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>doubts</span></a> my <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/mom" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>mom</span></a> had placed in my head.</p><p><a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Women" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Women</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Transgender" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Transgender</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/LGBTQ" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>LGBTQ</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/LGBTQIA" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>LGBTQIA</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/HigherEducation" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>HigherEducation</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/GreekLife" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>GreekLife</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Faternities" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Faternities</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/InternalizedHomophobia" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>InternalizedHomophobia</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Representation" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Representation</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Culture" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Culture</span></a> </p><p><a href="https://www.huffpost.com/entry/gay-fraternity-brother-hazing-secret_n_664d2a96e4b087f368b55fa6" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://www.</span><span class="ellipsis">huffpost.com/entry/gay-fratern</span><span class="invisible">ity-brother-hazing-secret_n_664d2a96e4b087f368b55fa6</span></a></p>
Nicole des Bouvrie<p>Update <a href="https://zirk.us/tags/ReynaKal" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>ReynaKal</span></a> <a href="https://zirk.us/tags/knitting" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>knitting</span></a> </p><p>Almost finished the final mesh section. I have decided I do not like the colours very much. But I've only used about half the skein. </p><p>Right now, it is 70cm long, unblocked. I am doubting whether I should add another section (following the attern I should double the mesh section again??) or just forget about it and finish it sooner. I think the probability of me wearing it when it is larger is much higher.</p><p><a href="https://zirk.us/tags/doubts" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>doubts</span></a></p>