RS, Author, Novelist, Prosaist<blockquote><p><a href="https://eldritch.cafe/tags/PennedPossibilities" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>PennedPossibilities</span></a> 680 — MC POV: Tell us how you feel about death. Do you fear it? CW: Fictional character talking about death and violence,</p></blockquote><p>[Devil-girl:] Funny question, but you <em>are</em> paying for my professional services as a troubleshooter, so I'm game: As far as I am concerned, I've already died— </p><p>No, I won't say more than I had run away and was old enough to pass as an adult—and <em>he noticed.</em> I died as far as I'm concerned. That I even <em>woke</em> after the attack was pure chance (or miscalculation on the part of my attacker) being dragged through the mud to be disposed of. He was bigger than me, more massive, had a longer reach, and I suspect <em>experience.</em> </p><p>I had had a sense of invulnerability. </p><p>Shattered. </p><p>In the moment, it wasn't about fearing death. It was instinct to stay alive that allowed me to plan, to resist with what I had: Mud, gravity, a thunderstorm, rain, and night. I obviously escaped. I may have killed him; I saw him on fire, but I didn't check. At that moment I learned I could fight, that I need not ever be made chattel again, and… <em>I liked it. A lot.</em></p><p>As a bodyguard, and later revealed as a personage someone decided to assassinate, I died twice more. Both times I saved people, the last time my lover and the assassin, but not myself. Through more chance than skill, I got revived both times. Obviously. I have a limp that shows up when I'm tired. I can show you scars.</p><p>I don't think I am capable of fearing death anymore. Doesn't mean I lack survival instinct, or that I don't panic, or do things to put myself in unnecessary danger. Not stupid.</p><p>However, I <em>understand</em> death. (For the record, I was a goth girl way before I ran away.) That first time, and the subsequent times, I realized something. I was there, and present. I saw my first attacker before he sucker-punched me out. I was there, then nothing. </p><p>Disconnect. </p><p>Then present again. </p><p>One time it will be a disconnect. I won't even know, or care by that measure. It's not substantially different than falling asleep and not dreaming:</p><p>Bedtime, then morning.</p><p>Obviously, what's to fear? I fear more not being able to save people who might depend on me not to die.</p><p>[Author retains copyright (c)2025 R.S.]</p><p><a href="https://eldritch.cafe/tags/BoostingIsSharing" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>BoostingIsSharing</span></a></p><p><a href="https://eldritch.cafe/tags/gender" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>gender</span></a> <a href="https://eldritch.cafe/tags/fiction" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>fiction</span></a> <a href="https://eldritch.cafe/tags/writer" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>writer</span></a> <a href="https://eldritch.cafe/tags/author" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>author</span></a> <a href="https://eldritch.cafe/tags/death" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>death</span></a> <a href="https://eldritch.cafe/tags/philosophy" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>philosophy</span></a><br><a href="https://eldritch.cafe/tags/mystery" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>mystery</span></a> <a href="https://eldritch.cafe/tags/thriller" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>thriller</span></a> <a href="https://eldritch.cafe/tags/romance" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>romance</span></a> <a href="https://eldritch.cafe/tags/sf" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>sf</span></a> <a href="https://eldritch.cafe/tags/sff" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>sff</span></a> <a href="https://eldritch.cafe/tags/sciencefiction" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>sciencefiction</span></a><br><a href="https://eldritch.cafe/tags/writing" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>writing</span></a> <a href="https://eldritch.cafe/tags/writingcommunity" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>writingcommunity</span></a> <a href="https://eldritch.cafe/tags/writersOfMastodon" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>writersOfMastodon</span></a> <a href="https://eldritch.cafe/tags/writers" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>writers</span></a><br><a href="https://eldritch.cafe/tags/RSdiscussion" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>RSdiscussion</span></a> <br><a href="https://eldritch.cafe/tags/RSstory" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>RSstory</span></a> <a href="https://eldritch.cafe/tags/RSReluctanceStory" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>RSReluctanceStory</span></a></p>