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#Routine

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Cynni's Blog

A new month, a new start 🌟

Welcome to September 2025. A day where I am trying to make my new start, partially as I wrote about in my post from last week (Let’s start at the very beginning…). Apparently it’s not the first time I started something in September 😉 Apparently, while I was browsing my older posts, I came across this one: Let’s start again in September! Where I got back from vacation and wanted to hit the gym and all that right away, and I did, and then I found out that I had Covid19… (date of blog post: August 31st 2022).

But now, since I am allowed to start working on my health again (within certain limitations), and since I am paying for the gym again (I only had 2x 4 weeks to freeze the sub, so I’ve been paying again since then), I am trying to do a fresh start. I am forced to do a fresh one, as since July 4th, everything changed, and not for the better… 😢 I need to find a new routine, one that will work for me I hope…

[…]

cynnisblog.wordpress.com/2025/

Sepia-toned night photo of a person smiling in front of a lit Basic-Fit gym, with the text “A new month, a new start” glowing above.
A cheerful cartoon-style illustration of a brown dog with floppy ears and a white muzzle, stretching playfully on green grass. Its tail curls upward, and its body shines with soft highlights. Behind the dog, a bright orange sun with radiating rays rises, adding a warm and happy atmosphere to the scene. The artwork is outlined in white with a black background, giving it the appearance of a sticker.
#adapting#changes#grief
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Cynni's Blog

Let’s start at the very beginning…

…a very good place to start…

A new start. One part of my journey has come to an end. So I need to start the next part. But it’s hard, as I long for the old part. I still grieve so much, even though it’s been 8 weeks now… I still cry, I still miss her, I still need her so much… 😢

But, it’s also been 8½ weeks since my last surgery. I’ve been walking without crutches for almost 1½ week now, slowly improving. Next week, they’ll come to get the bed out of my living room. After the vacation I’m on now, I’ll have to start a new routine. And it may seem to simple, “just do what you want when you need to do it”. And indeed, it sounds easy and convenient. But to me, a grieving AuDHD person, it may be one of the harder things to cross my paths during my journey of life… 🏞️

[…]

cynnisblog.wordpress.com/2025/

Sunset over a mountain ridge with a winding path, glowing sky in warm tones, and the words “find your way” inspiring a sense of journey and self-discovery.
A collage of 4 selfies of a person and a chocolate brown Labrador with greying snout. They're in different shapes, taken at different times of the day. In one of the images, the dog is wearing a cone of shame.
Cartoon-style muscular dog lying on some heavy barbells, showing off exaggerated muscles. The image has a transparent background and white outline, suggesting it's designed as a sticker or graphic element.
#adapting#alone#fitness
Suite du fil
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Mistheart

youtube.com/watch?v=qKGLF7MpxbU

Quereis infartitos espaciales? Queréis saber si podéis mover una turbina con vuestras propias taquicardias ahora que la luz se pone cara?

Routine parece mezcla de Dead Space, la peli de Moon y el Alien Isolation. Alimento para pesadillas.

Como bien ha dicho antes @pacogens , los juegos de tener que apuntar con un cachivache para poder ver es otro nivel dentro de los juegos de terror.

Y, la verdad, espero que les vaya bien porque el juego se anunció hace ya 8 años?

Para PC y XBoxes

YouTubeRoutine - Official Release Window Trailer | gamescom 2025Par IGN
#Routine#TrailersJuegosVerano25#Videojuegos
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Cynni's Blog

Fearing loneliness

Before my divorce, I’d never been on my own. I moved in with one partner, I moved in with the next partner. When she kicked me out, I was on my own. But… I wasn’t all alone, thanks to Arwen. She has just turned 5, I was 38. I had go learn to be on my own. To make my own decisions, to live as I wanted, not as a partner wanted me to live… It was scary, it was weird, but when I finally got used to it, it was a special kind of freedom…

My life used to resolve around work and my partners. Work fell away, but I still had my wife. Then wife kicked me out of her life and house, and it was just me. Well, it was Arwen and me. And my life, my routine, it became all about her and me. And for almost 7 years, it was just her and me, living our lives together, being happy and free. But unfortunately, on July 4th, she passed away, after a heart tumor was taking away all her quality and love of life. 😭

[…]

cynnisblog.wordpress.com/2025/

A person in sunglasses and a cap crouches on a sandy lakeshore, smiling beside a brown dog, with a calm forest-lined lake in the background. Purple text at the bottom reads “Fearing loneliness.”
#alone#emptiness#fear
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Cynni's Blog

Grateful for Bas 🐾

Dealing with the loss of Arwen hit me hard. Maybe it was harder because I had just suffered a major trauma… But I know it hit me hard because she and I had a very special bond. Everyone that knew us always said that we were so in-sync together. One look from her to me, or from me to her, and we just knew… That’s probably also why I struggle with it some more, because I am feeling guilty because I wasn’t able to detect how much she must have been struggling before I went back to the hospital. When I got out, that’s when she didn’t have the spoons anymore to hide her pain anymore…

The house was empty, only filled with tears and sadness. We all deal with grief in different ways… But one thing I think both mum and I struggled with… That quiet emptiness in the house… So when dad said that Bas was being a tad annoying with him, mum offered to take him for a few days. And that made a big difference, for mum and me, but I guess also for Bas.

[…]

cynnisblog.wordpress.com/2025/

A long-haired black and tan dachshund named Bas rests peacefully on a person’s lap, surrounded by cozy blankets. Overlaid text reads “Grateful for Bas” with paw print icons, conveying warmth and affection.
GIF
#Bas#comfort#dog
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Cynni's Blog

What to do now?

Ever since that week that came straight out of hell (Journal – Week 27, June/July 2025), I’ve been struggling. I’ve shared some posts during the last few weeks, describing the struggles and emotions of getting through all the trauma, pain, and grief. And one thing is true for all of it: they will need patience, time, and support.

The world as I had known it for so long just changed so much. I was already unstable after the surgery and all, and I was in no way prepared to deal with having to say goodbye to Arwen. And this may sound selfish, but at the moment where I needed her most to help me cope with the anxiety, shock, and pain… Arwen needed me most to do right by her. I wasn’t selfish then, and I kept my promise to her, to never let her suffer. But a part of me was just so devastated, because I felt angry, just for a very short while, that she couldn’t keep going a bit longer for me… That thought came and went like a bolt of lightning strikes, but I’ve been feeling guilty ever since I had it. 😢 And now? Now I need to find a way to pick my life up again, to get back on track.

[…]

cynnisblog.wordpress.com/2025/

A dog walks down a grassy path lined with yellow wildflowers under a clear blue sky. The peaceful countryside scene is overlaid with the glowing text: “What to do now?”, adding a reflective mood.
#energy#grief#life
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Sabcat 🇷🇺 🇵🇸

Ce qu’on ne pourra plus montrer, parce que c’est du «discours de haine»–«Depuis près de 630 jours, le monde entier assiste au #genocide des Palestiniens de #Gaza par les bombardements et la famine»–Eva Bartlett

#Israël💩 a bombardé sans relâche les Palestiniens, détruit des hôpitaux et enlevé des médecins et des patients, témoigne la journaliste pour RT.

L’Etat juif a bombardé des églises, des écoles, des centres des Nations Unies et des tentes abritant des Palestiniens déplacés dans de prétendues «zones de sécurité», des nasses, où l'armée israélienne leur avait ordonné de fuir.

#Poutine–A Gaza, «on voit des enfants opérés sans anesthésie, Gaza est le plus grand cimetière d'enfants au monde» (2023)

«Depuis fin mai, nous voyons des vidéos horribles de Palestiniens squelettiques faisant la queue dans l'espoir de recevoir de l'aide alimentaire, puis abattus par des mercenaires américains et des soldats israéliens.»

#Routine–Massacre à Gaza: #Tsahal💩 ouvre le feu sur une foule affamée, 104 morts.

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Cynni's Blog

On and on and on… ♾️

This is definitely not the first time I write a blog post with a topic title like this. And yeah, maybe that is a part of the "infinity" in it all. But, with all the recent and not so recent events happening, my brain is doing that "overthinking" thing again. And often, one of the things that helps me with that, is when I whip out my phone, or my tablet with the BT keyboard, or even my new PC these days... I need to write about it... I don't know if you have been following my blog and all the stuff I've been sharing. Or if you just "stumbled" upon it because of... Well , many reasons can be put here... So I will leave that open, and I just want to say "Welcome 🌸 " and thank you for checking out my babbling corner of the interwebs. I will try not to repeat too much of what I've been sharing recently, and when I do, I will try to link the original blog post to it, for those that may be interested. 😇 […]

cynnisblog.wordpress.com/2025/

A colorful image of a glittery rainbow infinity symbol surrounded by glowing hearts and sparkles on a dark purple background. Below the symbol, the text reads: 'on and on and on…'
#busybrain#circumstances#health
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Cynni's Blog

Busy, too busy… 😮‍💨

Ever since my awful birthday, things have been going in many directions. That Sunday was crazy! Of course, I'd been very busy on Saturday, to try and get everything nice for when my parents would visit. So after the terrible Sunday, my days would be filled with all sorts of appointments. And, while I didn't mind to help my parents, it meant less sleep, less "me time", less relaxing... The sleep I had was disturbed, especially in the beginning of the week. Usually, I'd try to relax during the day then. But with all the appointments, there just wasn't any time... And now, as I write this, I should have my first "free day" since that weekend. So, of course, I have some chores planned already. But, I also hope to get some gaming in with a sweet friend. […]

cynnisblog.wordpress.com/2025/

A vibrant rainbow infinity symbol adorned with swirling floral patterns and a butterfly, set against a starry cosmic background. The words “Busy, too busy…” appear in bright pink and teal script at the bottom.
A close-up of a curious squirrel gripping a tree trunk, its large, round eyes fixed on the camera. The background is filled with lush green foliage, creating a natural forest setting. At the bottom, colorful, playful text reads, "Whatcha doin'?"
#appointments#busy#life
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Cynni's Blog

I can do it!

It just takes more time... ...and I sometimes need help... ...but that's OK! I've blogged before about feeling like I'm stuck with this adulting thing. That it sometimes just doesn't feel worth it. Or, I do it, and a short time later, it just looks like I've not done it at all... 😔 And I know it's not just me struggling with these things. But, especially when it comes to cleaning, it's harder. And since I've been living in a construction area, and they're still not done... There's just so much more sand and dust! 🫣 And, that just makes it harder, and the work feels less rewarding... […]

cynnisblog.wordpress.com/2025/

A vivid sunset with fiery reds and oranges spreading across the sky, partially hidden by clouds. Silhouetted tree branches frame the scene. Bold text at the bottom reads, "I can do it!", conveying a motivational tone.
#cleaning#depression#energy
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